It was a SMASHING success!

This is a post-mortem post that had a statutory length of time that needed to pass in order to protect the innocent (i.e. ME).

I was out for a run in my neighborhood and came across this desk with a sign that said Free. I ran by it and started thinking to myself, ‘That would look quite lovely in my place.’ I ran back by it on my way home and thought again, ‘Yeah, that really would look nice.’

I got home and picked the corner of my living room where I thought it should go and then hopped in the car. I only live 4 blocks from the corner at which this lovely desk was sitting. Of course there’s no parking but I was only going to be there for a few minutes so I pulled forward and back several times trying to wedge my car in the corner where you shouldn’t be and opened up the hatch.

This desk had two levels, the structure was a black iron/metal whatever, and the rest was glass. Basically two shelves of glass. I took the smaller shelf off the top and carefully set it down against my car before returning to get the larger desk surface. I first unwedged it from the rungs holding it in place intending to balance it on the two rails on either side and move it to the trunk of the car, but instead I watched it peel out of my fingers from its enormous weight that I severely underestimated and watched it smash into a zillion little pieces in the grass below after it hit the bottom footstep. At this point, I looked around to see who saw my idiocy and would now expect me to make amends somehow to the owners of this Free desk (which I've seen at places like Office Depot for upwards of $100). However, under cloak of night, no one happened to be walking by and I couldn’t see anybody staring in horror, although if they were, they then saw me slowly and quietly retrieve the smaller glass shelf leaning, return it to its original place, then peel outta there, taking the long route home.

It seemed like longer, but apparently I was only gone for five minutes – which was enough to show up and ruin someone’s (next) day.