Scarfhead

What’s with the old ladies and scarves tied around their heads? Do these scarves serve a function that surpasses hats? Here’s why I ask. I was riding the bus today and a lady got on the bus with a silky scarf tied around her head. Said scarf flopped down around the back of her head after about 30 seconds. It just got me wondering, not so much about the uselessness of the scarf, but this woman’s history of useless scarf wearing. I don’t wear scarves tied around my head. Somehow, I imagine these old ladies didn’t grow up wearing scarves tied around their heads either. So when did they decide, “I’m a Scarf Head?”

I grant you I’ve seen the head covers made of plastic. If it rains, the water’s going to run into your eyes and down your neck so again I have to use the word useless here. Not quite a Scarf Head, but still in the same species. “If I want to be a Scarf Head today, where would I even buy one of those plastic head wraps?” Is there some sort of senior head wrap cartel – you have to know a lady who knows a lady? Or, are there these specialty stores that magically appear to you when you’ve surpassed a certain age, kind of the way fairies and imaginary friends are only visible to the very young. I hope that’s the case. I want to fit in.